


Girl Scouts are the worst type of bullies, the type who sells you cookies

by Leorios_Lawyer



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Girl Scout Alluka Zoldyck, Girl Scout Leorio Paladiknight, Girl Scout Nanika, Hisoka only appears at the end, Hispanic Character, Kid Fic, Leorio Paladiknight is Venezuelan, Leorio Paladiknight is a good dad, Leorio wears a skirt the most part of the fic, Parental Leorio Paladiknight, Trans Alluka Zoldyck, but i just want you to know, i tried to make comedy, is not important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 06:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leorios_Lawyer/pseuds/Leorios_Lawyer
Summary: Alluka is a Girl Scout and Leorio is a good dad. He also looks really good on skirts.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Nanika & Leorio Paladiknight
Kudos: 15





	Girl Scouts are the worst type of bullies, the type who sells you cookies

**Author's Note:**

> This was so fun to write i swear. Also my first lenguage is not english so if you see any mistake don't tell me, i have no respect for this lenguage.

Alluka had wake up at 4 a.m. with one thing in her mind, cookies, girl scout cookies.

She went to the kitchen and using Mito's recipe she had made at least 85 of them, by the time the sun was raising the cookies were all done, a few had burned for accident but the majority was ok. At six she had gone to the bathroom and put her pink uniform on with her matching hat and her bag, filled with several small packages of cookies.

At six thirty, Alluka was in front of Leorio and Kurapika's door, knocking and calling for them to wake up.

–Leorio, Kurapika wake up!!!– the knocking finally worked when a half sleep Leorio Paladiknight opened the door with an eye open and the other closed.

–Kid...? It's like 5 a.m. what is it?– his voice was tired and one of his arms was resting on his neck. Then, the young Zodiac noticed the girl's clothes and small bag, he had forgeted about the cookies selling.

–First of all, it's six thirty. Second of all, you promised to take me to sell my cookies today with my troop!–

–Yeah, i did said that.– he looked behind him, back to the bed there was Kurapika laying on the bed asleep. –Wait here.– he went back along side his beloved and moved him a little, trying to wake him up.

–Babe?–

–Go with her, Leorio.– the blonde muttered, apparently he had been awake all the time, which made sense, you couldn't be a mafia boss and have a deep sleep. –It's your turn to take her.–

–Come on, sunshine! The troop likes you more than me and you are an incredible seller!–

–fuck you no.– and then he went back to sleep. Leorio sighed and looked back at the door where Alluka was waiting for him.

–Give me a few minutes to get ready, and make some coffee for me, please.–

–I already got it here!– from a pocket of her school bag the girl pulled of a thermo with coffee and handed it to Leorio.

The brown skinned man drank almost the whole thing in less than a minute, for the entertainment of the girl scout who giggled at him.

–ok now dad's on the job.–

* * *

–where did you say this place is again?–

–It's in front of a park, the walls are blue and they have a black car on the parking spot.– Alluka repeated for the fifth time by now.

–Darling, i don't see any blue house with a black car on it.– it was not Leorio's fault that all suburban houses looked the same.

–Well it has to be here, this is the street and that is the park.– She pointed the park with white bars and a dog peeing besides them. They had been at this for at least half an hour, it was seven fourty three and Leorio was getting impatient.

–Wait, i think that one is!–

for a moment to another the girl pointed to a house in front of the park's entrance, it was color yellow and it had a red car on the parking spot, Leorio decided just to follow the girl's orders by this point.

When they parked Alluka left the car quickly and started ringing the bell, being followed by Leorio from behind.

–You said the house was blue.– he said.

–they probable painted it to another color.– Leorio graved her hand before she could ruin the bell with her unceasing rings.

–and the car?–

–they probably changed it.–

Then, a lady opened the door, she was wearing a peach dress and her smile was so big Leorio feared it could be a sickness.

–Hello, there!– she greeted.

–umm hi miss! We are looking for miss Maya.– Alluka said.

–Oh, so you must be one of the young butterflies girls scout my cousin was receaving today!– she says to the little girl. –I am miss Satou Kuromi, and i'm afraid Maya will not be able to do any scout work today.–

–What? Why? – Alluka looked truly concerned. – did something happen to miss Maya?– it was no secret that she really liked her troop leader, always coming back home talking about what miss Maya did and din't do and how cool she was.

–Well... she is currently in the hospital, she broke her leg and her two arms after falling from a nine feet tall building.– Kuromi said.– after falling from a window.– decided to add. – and slipping on pee...–

–ouch.– Leorio said.

–Yeah...–

–Oh no! will she be ok?– Alluka's voice sounded broken and her fists were closed. –and what about the cookie selling!? It was today!

–She'll be fine, darling. And the cookie selling can be next month.– Leorio kneeled down to Alluka's level and cleaned the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes. –now let's go back home----– Leorio's voice was gentle and calming but Alluka din't wanted to listen to it now, she left without a word and got inside the Hunter's car.

–Thank you.– the med student din't stay to hear the lady's reply, getting inside the car with the girl.

–Alluka, don't get sad, Miss Maya will be ok!–

–It's not that!–

–then what is it? Tell me what's on your mind.–

There was a time when Alluka wasn't so confident to talk to him, but now, after a year of moving in with him and Kurapika to escape Illumi, she was more open about her feelings with him.

–I promised Miss Maya that i would sell the best cookies this month... and now she is in a hospital bed and she will die and i won't show her how much cookies i sell and i want to go home and i--- and i--–

–wow kid chill, Miss Maya is not going to die, she is a pretty strong woman, she just needs rest and she'll be back on the game in a few months.–

–you promise?– Alluka asked

–I promise, kiddo.–

Alluka cleaned her tears off her face, to then sit rightly on her place and wait for Leorio to move the car.

–Ok, let's go home.–

–Umh what if we don't?– the tall Hunter asked.

–What do you mean?–

–What if we go sell cookies by ourselves? Just you and me.– he says. –and then we can go to the hospital and show Miss Maya how much did we get?–

Alluka seemed to think about it, before nodding with her head. – ok..... but you'll have to wear an uniform!–

* * *

–I have to say, skirts truly are comfy.–

–i told you so!–

Leorio's uniform was almost exactly as Alluka's, it had a white button shirt, black little heels, white largue socks and a pink skirt, plus a little brown band for the patches which he did not had.

–but you don't have any patches, yet...– she said.

–Don't worry, i'll probably win them when the time is right.– the man joked.

–You are right! But that will be another day, so come on! Let's sell some goddamm cookies!–

–Kid did you just--–

By 9:37 a.m. Alluka Zoldyck and Leorio Paladiknight were both dressed on skirts and had small bags full of cookies to sell, Leorio had taken Alluka to another neighborhood a bit far of the one she used to do these things on request of the little girl, who was saying something about respecting other territories.

–But isn't that your territory?– the almost doctor asked.

–Well yes, but it isn't yours so we can't sell cookies there.– this other neighborhood looked exactly as the first one, with the addition that they had blossom trees and a big park with a pool for kids to play. –Whoa look at that swing! Can we go there after we sell the cookies?–

–Sure thing, kid.– said Leorio, looking at his phone where he was telling Kurapika the current situation.

–I see, then you both will be here later than expected?– the blonde asked on the other line.

–probably, this is my first time selling cookies but it can't be so different than selling lollipops to the people on the cars back to my home.– the man said, feeling nostalgic at the memory of a much younger and hungrier Leorio selling food and trinkets for just a few coins to wealthier men.

–Anyways, tell Alluka to take a picture of you in that skirt, i really want to see that.–

–You may laugh about it but i do look good in it.–

–who said otherwise?–

Before the man could reply to his sweetheart he felt Alluka pull his skirt a little, seeking for his attention.

–Leorio! Let's go!–

–Oh yeah right.– he replied. –i have to say bye, sunshine, see you at lunch!– at the other line his beloved gave him a similar reply, before ending the call. –ok so, what's the plan, little boss?–

–Just follow my lead.– Alluka said full of confidence, giving him a cat-like grin that made Leorio remember who was her brother. They started walking towards one of the houses, this one was color yellow with a few old chairs in the porch and an old black car in front of it.

Leorio knocked the door and waited with Alluka outside, from the other side of the door they could hear an old lady's voice saying "coming" for moments later the door being open. She had brown skin and a hijab was hiding her hair, her smile was gentle and she had lecture glasses on.

–Hello, can i help you with something?– the old lady said.

–Hi!– Alluka greeted. –we are from the butterfly-cow girl scouts, and we are selling cookies!– Then, Alluka took some boxes from her bag and showed them to the lady, for what Leorio could see she had Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Patties, Caramel deLites and Lemon-Ups. –Would you like to buy some, miss?–

And while Leorio was thinking about the morality of letting his thirteen-year-old daughter (when did he started thinking about Alluka as his daughter?) go around and sell cookies to strangers alone with other kids, the old lady replied.

–Oh... i'm sorry dear but i have no money in effective with me right now, and i was just reading a book so i can't look for it.–

–Oh, i see. So you are so busy reading some dumb ass book to even buy cookies from girl scouts?– both Leorio and the old lady were wordless at Alluka, when did she learn so many bad words? –It's probably for the better, if you tried these cookies you could break your teeth, right old bag?– when did she get so mean?, Leorio asked himself.

–Alluka! You can't talk like this to the lady!– Leorio yelled.

–No, no sir It's ok i think i just remembered some money i had in my room. Wait for me.– she said, then closed the door and left, Leorio and Alluka just looked at each other for a moment and then the door opened again, the same lady but with a wallet and a nervious smile showed up. –do you have Thin Mints, darling?–

–Sure i do, miss!– Alluka said, giving the lady a package of the mint cookies and smiling brightly at her. The brown woman gave her the money and took the cookies she had buyed, closing the door at once the moment she said Good Bye.

–Where did you learn to do that?– the young Zodiac asked.

–What do you mean?– she replied while walking to the next house and hiding the money

–Bullying people until they buy you cookies. I din't taught you that, nor did Kurapika.–

–I learned it when i first joined the Butterfly-cow scouts, people always put excuses and you have to sell the cookies so we bully them till they have no other option to buy us cookies or cry, sometimes they do both.– the whole ten minutes they had been selling cookies till now, Alluka's smile never flicked for a second.

The next house was red with many plants around it, and Alluka did the same to a young couple while Leorio just standed besides her, looking at the customers being lectured by a preteen. Sixteen houses later and it had been two hours since they started, alluka only had five packages left on her bag and they were running out Lemon-Ups by this point.

Tired, both child and almost doctor sit down in the sidewalk cover up by a tree so the sun couldn't get to them, Leorio blessed his skirt for how fresh it was while Alluka snapped her fingers and rested for a bit.

–Mr. Leorio.– a small and ghostly voice said besides the man. –Mr.Leorio, pat my head.–

–Alluka?– he turned around to see pitch black eyes staring at him instead of the usual bright blue and a black blurred space where Alluka's mouth used to be. –oh, hey nanika.–

He should have notice it wasn't Alluka, after all only Nanika called him Mr.Leorio these days. He attended the girl's request and pat her head softly with a small smile growing in his own face, it was 11:23 a.m. so the street was empty, some parents were at work and some others were at home making lunch while kids were still at school, so there was nothing to be worried about.

–Mr. Leorio, play Down Down Baby with me.–

–Ok.– This request was fulfilled as they played together, singing a kids song Kurapika used to sing to play with the rhythm.

–Mr. Leorio, tell me i'm a good girl!–

–Nanika, you are not a good girl.– the man said. –You are the best girl ever!– Nanika got surprised by this, and looked directly at the man.

–In the whole world?–

–In the whole universe!– Nanika smiled and spread her hands to the man, Leorio accepted the gesture and hug the little girl.

They drank some water Alluka had brough on her bag and rested in a comfortable silence for a bit, Leorio patting Nanika's head every now and then.

–Ok! Enough resting!– Alluka was back and instantly got up from her sit. –We have five more cookies packages to sell and not much time!– Leorio got up besides her and pushed some dust off his skirt.

While walking to the next an hopefully last house, Leorio receaved a message from Kurapika, saying that he missed them and that he had made Alluka's favorite Kurta traditional food, Leorio just took a picture of Alluka running in front of him and send it to his lover before turning his phone screen off.

–Whoa this house is really pretty! The people that live here must be really rich!– what Alluka had said was true, in difference of the rest of houses in the neighborhood this one was of a silver color, the door looked expensive and the car in the parking spot was a really new and also super expensive one.

Alluka, on the other hand, was thinking of how to start the lecturing, maybe a "don't you have how to pay it?" Yeah that should do.

This time Leorio knocked the door and waited outside along his girl, after hearing nothing they both frowned and knocked again, this happening a couple of times. Then, the door open and Leorio felt his soul fall to the ground.

Hisoka Morow, in all true clown fashion was standing at the other side of the door with his hair down and a small grin of red lips.

–Well, hello.–

Leorio, in all his life, have never grabed a child and runned so fast before, until now.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on Twitter as @LE0PlK4__


End file.
